Grief is a funny emotion. There's no handbook for it, and even when you think you're done, it can come back with a vengeance when you're least expecting it. It also comes in every size - from the loss of a loved one all the way down to being bummed that your team didn't make the championship. But the strangest type of grief, and probably the hardest for me to process, is grief for a future that could or should have been.
This kind of grief is the hardest to describe, and therefore the hardest to discuss without feeling like a melancholy drama queen. It's opportunity cost that shouldn't even be a consideration - but it is.
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You will never forget the moments that define your life forever.
For me, one of those moments was learning I was pregnant. It wasn't beautiful and peaceful like a pregnancy test commercial. It involved taking not one, not two, but three expired pregnancy tests - all positive, all with the same commentary live-streamed via text to my best friend: "WTF?!" It involved being freezing - literally, for the first time ever in my life, unable to warm up - and feeling like I'd been run over by a truck. It involved frantically barging into the bathroom where my husband was getting ready and holding up a stick with two lines on it, minutes before walking out the door for his company Christmas party.
You might not think that sounds out of the ordinary. But "learned" might be underselling it.
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